i miss him :(

My heart is broken. My best friend and the boy who holds it passed away on sunday. Colter you have forever changed me and my path. I love you and miss you. a very loud and prominant person in my life is now gone and i'm not sure what to do or how to think. To all the people in my life who've tried to help, been there to talk, or given me thier prayers i thank you. To my baby sister... you are my strength thank you. to those who i've talked to and shared with and cried with- it means more then you know to have you by my side I thank you! To Colter- when you feel you should please send my heart back. until then i know you are watching over me and will forever be my protector. thank you for letting me into that big heart of yours. you will always be in my heart. I love you

so i had a friend get me looking through old blogs on myspace i posted...and i found one i actually didn't mind so i thought i'd re-post it here for other people to see...

It is...
It's in my heart,
it's in my soul.
It's a sound i'd know anywhere.
It clears my head and intensifies my emotions.
It clouds my head and sets me on end.
It's a feeling, a sound, a movement.
It's what we want and desire.
What we fear and what we hope for.
It's the beginin and the end, and an end to a begining.
Sitting here i wonder, i listen, and i hear.
I feel, i think i dream.
What it is is magic beyond my wildest dreams.
it can't be explained only felt.
Leaving a mark that no one and everyone can see.
Changing the person one drop at a time.
INTENSIFIED. ENLIGHTENED.
and then FORGOTTEN

Thank you to my friends/family

My crazy life is livin day to day. Meeting and loving the people i meet along the way. Thank you to all my friends and family for being my hope, my strenght and my saving grace. I am grateful for everyone that has touched my life in some way no matter how big or how small. Now while my life isn't turning out exactly how i planned i can't believe how lucky i truly am. My friends for the strength, understanding, and love. My family for standing by me and giving more hope then i ever deserved. And to all the children in my life for the unconditional love and Extreme Joy you bring to my life! And to all the people who are not major factors in my life anymore for one reason or another know that i am still grateful for the place you were in my life, for the lessons you taught me and for leading me to where and who i am today.

ready for a change. ready for a difference. someone take me away from here... need to make a difference, need to make a change, need to get away from here...

eh

so i'm not a good blogger, and i don't have much to talk about but...figured i have one may as well use it. :) my life is crazy as always. working a LOT fitting in playin in between. SO EXCITED for the new harry potter movie-midnight madness with lindsay and the gang on tues/wed. Other then that there is not a lot of excitment in my life worth mentioning... but this is just a quick add to let everyone know i'm still around...and i'll think about blogging a little bit more :)

so haven't updated in a while. and don't have too much to say except that i always love getting into contact with old friends. and it's amazing with the technology that we now have how easy it is to track down people! (although if it's someone you never wanted to talk to again that could be a problem lol) but thank you to the old friends and the new that are keepin in touch and love ya'll.

So i've been having a crazy life as normal... i don't have internet so it makes it difficult to blog. but let me express my love for lindsay and her 3 children. They are the highlight of my day and the thing i look forward to when i've had a bad day. I want to say i wish more people were as honest and simple as kids because it would save time and effort of fretting over stupid shit...and also they usually love without question which would be a nice change also. As for what else is going on i'm sick of drama that is the game of dating...yes that's right the game. and i'm sick of playing! i'm taking my toys and going home!!