Thursday, February 3, 2011

been almost a year.

almost a year.

It's been almost a year since my life changed forever. i lost myself that day and am just starting to find my way back. while i will never be completely whole i know now i can survive. i will survive. I miss him everyday and not a day goes by that i don't think about him. but it's getting easier to bare. i still cry sometimes. I talk to you all the time, and i know you hear me. I have also realized that i have a lot of good people in my life who have stood by me, stood next to me, and stood for me when i couldn't anymore.

First and foremost. To Colter I will always love you, I will always miss you and my life is better because of you, but because of you I know i can handle anything that comes my way. Thank you for watching over me because I know you are there.

To Nate- for being my strength for filling in as my best friend when your brother couldn't be there anymore. For understanding better then anyone for being next to me when what we needed was each other. for somehow knowing when i needed you the most. you will never truly know how you saved me. I love you!

To Natalie- you've had the hardest year of all i think but thank you for being a great friend. Even when you felt like you weren't trust me you were. I love you and I do not know what I would do without you. Know i am here for you always and we are forever tied together. I couldn't ask for a better person in my life, and while i do not see you as much as i would like you are forever in my heart and always in my thoughts.

To Peggy- Thank you for including me in your family, thank you for being there and letting me be there with you. I love you more then you know and am so grateful for my Dwyer family and don't know what i would have done without you.

To Aja and my Packer Family, i don't know if you will ever understand just how much it means to me to be included in your lives. Thank you for being my ear to talk to, my shoulder to cry on and my house to escape to. Thank you for the small joys you've brought to me this year just by being you.

To all my other friends and family who have stood by me, talked me through things, helped me out and been there for me you will never know how much you mean to me. I know that i can't say it enough and I tell you thank you when you help but again THANK YOU! (lissa, linz, audri, mar) Thank you to all for helping me on my journey to find my way back. I'm not always okay but I know I will be because i have wonderful friends to stand by me and I have discovered who was really there when life got hard and for that I thank you all! you are in my thoughts and in my heart everyday.

I am forever changed but am forever stronger because of it all.

2 comments:

d43a5ffe-8e7c-11e0-a8a9-000bcdca4d7a said...

YOUR FRIEND MELISSA IS A LIAR AND THIS IS
HOW SHE FEELS ABOUT MY BUDDY AND LIES TO EVERYONE. IN THIS EMAIL SHE TOLD HIM ALSO SHE WANTEDTO ***bleep** HIM
You are not my safety net, Its my problem that I don't want to see you with anyone and its not fair to you. I just don't really want to hear about it. To answer your question, again I thought I already did but another way to put it is I'm addicted to you. There are you happy? I can't let go of you. Melissa

d43a5ffe-8e7c-11e0-a8a9-000bcdca4d7a said...

Part2:I never lied to you. I never did, and you know that. Everything I said to was and still is true. I will always be here so don't worry about that you have me, you're stuck with me so enjoy the ride! I am excited to see you in July and can't wait to show you around and all that, I have the perfect sappy movie, your going to just die the whole way
through! Don't go back into your shell, um okay with what you said as far as going back to what we had, other than the other night. So I will be here if you need me, and don't give up hope on a phone call... Who knows right?
Lissa

I DONT SEE ANYTHING ABOUT JIMMY OR HER MANY TALES OF HIM HITTING HER AND SO ON